Monday night Wembley Arena. Here to see Dolly Parton a truly exceptional talent, whose song book shimmers and shakes, whose ability to gambol freely over pop country bluegrass and fields of cheese and corn matches that of the frisky filly which, even at 61, she resembles. But something is not quite right here..Dolly’s show is split in two halves and going out into the area around the venue seating in between times produces a fatal drop in atmosphere. Quite literally .. they’ve banned smoking in Wembley now completely and joyful as it is not to be met with a London smog boy do they need something to disguise the smell of their hot food. And as for the price of the drinks… well we’ll come to that presently. Wembley is one of those soul less taverns where performers have to really rearrange the psychic landscape to make it their own. Over the years I have seen it transformed a fair few times .. by Bob Dylan, The Grateful Dead (on the Mexican Day Of The Dead 31st Ocotober 1989) and Happy Mondays at the peak of their career. Wembley was rocking that night, Bez going bonkers, Rowenna the whip mistress, Shaun Ryder the Leery Jester King conducting the crowd, swaying majestically, Brit Rascals in full effect. I have also witnessed some soul destroying horrors there - Britney Spears going through the motions like a tired old slapper bored out of her skull foremost among them. The young audience gaping, bored and eventually leaving in ever-increasing droves - they had gazed into the deep dark hole of American entertainment and not liked what they saw. Judging by recent photos Britney has now done likewise. One mother told a journalist at the show that her 13-year-old daughter asked her if they could leave because it was getting “too sexy for her” Britney Spears sexy? Well, there’s a first time for everything I guess. Bono says Africa is sexy. Did you see your man on Red Nose Day on Friday Night? I’m sorry but I agree with the guy who says Gervais is becoming insufferably smug ..which means that Bono is even worse. For those that missed it Bono was the African in the mock up of a charity sketch Gervais fronted. To the unbearable smugness of the sketch he added arrogance. Its time someone gave Bono a good talking too but they’d be hard pressed to hear themselves over his blether. I imagine this blether will become increasingly prevalent as we build up to the new U2 album release. Anyway have U2 ever played Wembley (Arena)? I can’t be sure. So back to Dolly Parton an experience where the essential meanness of the venue impinged on the genuine warmth of Dolly’s best moments. There was a slight hint of the times, not uncommon at these sort of venues, where everyone is so desperate to have a good time after the trudge from the tube and the massive expense - £75 for top tickets - that the artist can get away with ..a bit too much. The venue follow suits and o in a place like Wembley the hapless punter’s money goes like water. Water, you say you want a bottle of still water? That’s a 50 cl bottle of water, a popular brand that would cost 89p in the higher end high streets - yours for £1.90. But the lady has to take the top off first, before you can quench your thirst. You don’t even get a plastic beaker! The removal of the top? That’s security that is. Or Health and Safety gone mad. You take your pick. Whatever it is it just adds to the general meanness of the whole experience. Dolly, with her outlandish demands pushing up the ticket price, must bear some of the responsibility for that (she went on more than a little too much about how she needed all the money she could get). On the other hand she is such a unique talent, a true original, one you wouldn’t want to miss. Smoky Mountain Memories (yes, I said memories, folks) , The Grass Is Blue, Nine To 5, I Will Always Love You, Little Sparrow (a miracle of awe and tenderness)..the highlights there were many. Perhapsa ll the best things do come in small, £75 a pop, packages…
