GLASTONBURY 3
| It is all about the mud, the mud can dry pretty quickly if wind and sun conspire but otherwise.well with the hay bales soaking up the floods strictly rationed and the rain positively Irish in its drizzling persistence I envisage that up the road at the site the approximattion of trench warfare is nomadic hell for those roaming the site. The mud has differnet thickens, diferent suction strengths, a slithery surface can be quickly contrasted by another in laid caked with big fucking bits of grit and stones - aching hips is a common complaint the next day as survivors compare the side effects of carrying extra specially weighted rubber boots for hours on end with no respite. Its an experience unlike any other on earth, Glastonbury in the mud and it is one of sheer physical exhaustion on a scale that makes Woodstock seem like a day at Glyndebourne in the VIP enclosure. Actually at Woodstock they were hungry no excuse here for that, or eating badly, Carib Cuisine by the Jazz World stage is the pick of the nosh pits, a queue with out of the world aubergine and ackee veggie options alongside the goat, chicken, beef dishes. Airrrright . Seldom sitting thats the thing, crouching on a half beam trunk chair outside the eateries is a memory, but lying prone ? That was a distant dream and memory, something people used to do long ago and far away…in the days before all the world turned brown… Presently it is Sunday circa 5.30 and I have not made it out of the house, the internet connection has just come on and tonight I am thinking that I may sleep and hit the site for the wee hours, the witching hours, trawling the greenfields later. But all my energy is gone it has been emotional here’s a Glastonbury Dao 1 Any stiffness in Amy Winehouse’s band is dispelled by her sensual relaxed confidence and the obvious chemistry between bright Eyes and his all clad in white band. 2 Patti Smith rock as spectacle and a way of approaching the cultural social issues of the day that recalls early 70s Jackson browne - 2 things that come through in Bright Eyes set. And Conor telling us that where he’s from Cougar means “an older woman who wants to sleep with younger men.” Grrr grrrreat! 3 The Magic Numbers invoke the spirit of both Bo Diddley (their buzz bombinging blistering Bo Diddley finale and Curtis ( their dream drop slip into Curtis and The Impressions People Get ready). But, Romeo, here’s a train a coming? In this mud? 4 Gambling, the only vice not worth indulging in. Wisdom from the mouth of Hold Steady’s manic animated Craig Finn. Buddy Holly hits the 21st century. Mud streaked symphonies fly high though the Saturday River bound route to the Peel stage ranged from the impossible. To the impassable. The thing is, folks, only at Glastonbury are the physical rigours such that you , rare thing this in today’s coddled spoon fed music world, EARN your right to partay. And the performers feel that and they respond. So thats just an illusion brought on by the festival mirage syndrome? So what the fuck? Its all about illusion mate, if the illusion works… thats what works. 5 Lily Allen the child of Glastonbury, invoking the spirit of madness, 2 tone, the sun, the London of post punk cross culture, the Strummer vibe, the sun, the everything. It was emotional Lily, almost as good as waking up to find your dad - mad shit eating gri on his mush, bottle in hand - rounding my tent a few years ago 3 am as I emerged to make the mid sleep call of nature. 6 “This IS amazing”. Words of wisdom, more of em, from Craig Finn. 7 Take head oh lesser minstrels! Symettric Orchestra of Toumani Diambate are on stage preparing their turf, feeling out the boards, summoning spirits for a performance unsurpassed in its foceful radiance about 45 mins before showtime. Mid set some hopefully helpful Antipodean lady at the Songlines tent assures me that Toumani is one of the singers who is not on stage. But she has the wrong guy! Toumani is the seated kora player onstage throughout - the silver purple cape wearing invader from another planet vocalist is perhaps the greatest vocal virtuoso of the day/year/ever seen(since that great Mezzin wailer that Talvin Singh had) whispering invocations and shouted declaimations in Toumani’s ear, raising spinetingling percussive melodies like a snake from an Indian snake charmer’s lair. 8 The Fratellis seem to be stretching out their set in the predictable one album only band risen to high position on the agent promoter shop window sale. A momentary diversion to watch an ad hoc mud diving in a newly made lake ceremony provides salutory lesson in human noise making. The crowd gathered round the lake, willing those less fortunate, more distressed, to dive in and live the md night mare they fear, erupt in cheers when a kilt wearing gent - eyes full of fire, drink and vengenance mixed in the iris - dives in an emerges with a shit eating grin. But when the next shill slave to their whims arrives in the middle of lake and instead of diving in starts to kick out at the crowd, the sound they make is still loud, but much different. Mud in yer eye means summat different at Glastonbury. 9 Saturday was the day of Doherty and Fogerty. Pete as lithe and lovely and as watchable as ever. And Fuck Forever? Instant Glaston anthem. And mission statement. And a call to spiritual renewal. Unfortunately although the sun shine, a short hail of frogs fell during his new hit Needle Time Is Killing MUsic. Never know the titles but the “washed up wife lousy life” line had - for some reason - something that hit like a soap operatic version of Lyndsey Anderson’s If riff. When the bass harp Dylan intro doesnt work PD flings the instrument into the crowd. I will be interested to find out what happens with that Glasto relic. Hopefully some minstrels gets it up, wipes off and brings POWER FROM THE MUD. 10 There were Ulster flags and Irish republic flags and the greatest banner of the whole festival - DOG SALAD! - during Shambles set. And Pete, Pete you little darling boy, you came on to TB SHeets. Fucking A pal, fucking A. But imagine if Van had re recorded WITH DAVID HAYES ON BASS, with Van calling the production shots. But, if it was any better, my head would explode! 11 The first time I visit the Glastonbury press tent with the objective of actually using it in my in my 3333 years of attending the festival I find what I usually find. The tent is full and it is (First visit) “closed” or (second visit) “closing in 5 minutes”. There’s a statistic on the wall relating to the increase toilet roll demand on site proving that Glastonbury is alot of shite. When I tell the guy at the desk who I am and what I want to do, he says he’ll allow me “5 or 10 minutes” after the Monkeys to file. Welcome to Glasto - where generosity knows bounds. 12 Weller offered Wildwood sustenance to the beleagured masses. Unfortunately the sound underfoot made it clear that Paulie wasnt the only thing that sucked. 13 A beer and No Lay in the Leftfield? In the immortal words of my good friend Steve Tyler “A bunch of hotties shaking their asses? What’s wrong with that?” 14 Definitely a Glasto thing. Was way past the witching hour on a deserted country road, on my wayback home, out of nowhere Duke Special gets out at a junction to ask directions. I am filing tonight for Mail On Sunday and in Birmingham a few weeks ago Duke was the last person I reviewed live for M os . Thats leylines that is! 15 I see the Duke again leaving the GUillemots end of set at the Jazz World, eek he’s gonna miss John Fogerty, he’s gonna miss me standing there shedding my tears in the mud n rain - Fogerty’s working class rock - its so pure, so real, so livid so emotional. Man he feels like an old general rallying the truth in our hearts. Wrote a song for everyone, wrote a song for you? Midnight fucking special? Are you fucking joking? In fact its a tribute to JF’s purity that his greatest song, is, now played last the one where you can see the conviction illusion divide depart each time he has to breath think between each “It aint me” 16 A trip to Wells for Sunday service, the Vicar offering a prayer for the festival crowd. The building more impressive inside than out. I saw and heasrd with my own eyes and ears. 17 Somerfield’s Yellow range? Instant noodles 8p? Couldnt they do cut price catering and shittter(cheaper)tickets to Glastonbury? Have they a shheme to bring diasadvantaged city kids rather than city fucking freeloaders to the site? I certainly hopes so, find out what deprivation really means, kids. 18 Do Glasto organizers on rain fests keep the mud content high, relaising its part of the “appeal” ?Everone knew ahead of time the weather was gonna teem why were known flood areas not filled with hay a head of time? |
